Tambudzai Tembo was in crisis. Her son—the family provider—had been arrested. She felt sad, alone, and desperate. A wooden bench and a kindly grandma helped.
In Zimbabwe, elderly people are at the center of a homegrown form of therapy. As mental health troubles skyrocket worldwide, a novel yet old-fashioned approach is gaining traction.
The method involves “Friendship Benches,” which are popping up at community clinics, churches, parks, and at least one university. An older woman with basic training in problem-solving patiently sits on the bench. This “grandma” is ready to listen and talk to anyone who stops by.
Traditional Zimbabwean culture inspired Dixon Chibanda, founder of Friendship Benches. He says Zimbabwean grandmothers have long been the go-to people for wisdom in rough times, calling them “one of the most valuable resources.”
Zimbabwe’s official mental health services are scarce. Chibanda is one psychiatrist of 12 in a country of 16 million people. He needed help.
Grandmothers are “rooted in their communities,” Chibanda says. “In addition, they have an amazing ability to . . . make people feel respected and understood.”
Chibanda recruited 14 grandmothers and trained them. His idea flourished.
Friendship Bench Zimbabwe now partners with the World Health Organization. It has grown to over 2,000 grandmothers. In 2023, more than 200,000 Zimbabweans sat on benches for therapy from a trained grandmother, according to the network.
The grandma-on-a-bench concept has taken root in South Vietnam, Botswana, Malawi, Kenya, and Tanzania. It’s also sprouting in London, England.
In New York City, a new mental health plan draws inspiration from Chibanda’s initiative. Orange Friendship Benches now dot Harlem, Brooklyn, and the Bronx.
The HelpAge USA organization in Washington, D.C., is also piloting the concept.
So far, Friendship Bench Zimbabwe has trained 20 American grandmothers. The women are determined to “stop the stigma around mental health and make it okay to talk about feelings.”
The grandmas listen, empathize, and help others solve their own problems, says Cindy Cox-Roman of HelpAge USA. She adds, “People are hurting, and a grandmother can always make you feel better.”
Siridzayi Dzukwa is the grandmother who encouraged Tembo. Today, many stop to thank her for helping them.
“People are no longer ashamed or afraid of openly stopping us on the streets and ask us to talk,” she says.
What makes grandmas such a valuable resource? One reason, according to Chibanda: “They don’t leave their communities in search of greener pastures. The only time they leave is when they go to a greener pasture called heaven.”
Why? Heeding advice from older folks is grounded in biblical truth: “Wisdom is with the aged, and understanding in length of days.” (Job 12:12)
For more on elderly characters who counsel others, read about Professor Kirke in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis, Gandalf in The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien, and Gloria Dump in Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate DiCamillo in our Recommended Reading.
